How I Got Here
I'm a dad. A first-generation Mexican American. The oldest of three siblings.
Growing up, I carried a lot of responsibility. Looking back, I sometimes joke that I spent so much time trying to help raise adults that I forgot I was a kid myself.
I grew up in an era where you kind of just got thrown into the deep end and learned to swim. And I did. A lot of us did. I took pride in that. I wore a mask that told me all of it was for my own good, that I turned out okay because of it. I accepted that this was just how life worked and never stopped to ask myself what any of it had cost me.
Then I became a dad.
My son became a mirror. He had a way of bringing everything I thought I'd buried right back to the surface. He brought out emotions, fears, and stories I had no idea how to navigate. I told myself none of it mattered anymore and that I just needed to "man up." I caught myself trying to give him what I wanted growing up instead of what he actually needed. There were moments when I tried being tough on him, and the more I did, the more disconnected I felt.
It sucked.
I felt pressure to prepare him for the real world, but everything I was doing seemed to push us further apart. It was a major wake-up call. Especially because it felt like everyone had advice, but very few people were willing to walk alongside me through it. My intentions were always good, even when the impact wasn't.
That realization sent me down a path of learning, unlearning, healing, and getting curious about the kind of man and father I wanted to be. Sometimes it's fun. Sometimes shit gets weird. Sometimes it's incredibly challenging. It's also been one of the most liberating experiences of my life.
These days, I love playing soccer, spending time in nature, singing in the car, dancing when a good song comes on, and every once in a while getting lost in a video game. More than anything, I love being a dad and continuing to learn alongside my son.
Through all of this, I've realized something simple: we're all doing the best we can with the tools we've been given.
I'm no different.
A framework for creating deeper connections with ourselves and the people we care about.
The Four Bs.
1
Budget
Understand what you're working with.
2
Blueprint
Define the father you're becoming.
3
Build
Create the life and relationships you want.
4
Be
Show up with greater presence and connection.
I'm a dad. A first-generation Mexican American. The oldest of three siblings.
Growing up, I carried a lot of responsibility. Looking back, I sometimes joke that I spent so much time trying to help raise adults that I forgot I was a kid myself.
I grew up in an era where you kind of just got thrown into the deep end and learned to swim. And I did. A lot of us did. I took pride in that. I wore a mask that told me all of it was for my own good, that I turned out okay because of it. I accepted that this was just how life worked and never stopped to ask myself what any of it had cost me.
Then I became a dad.
My son became a mirror. He had a way of bringing everything I thought I'd buried right back to the surface. He brought out emotions, fears, and stories I had no idea how to navigate. I told myself none of it mattered anymore and that I just needed to "man up." I caught myself trying to give him what I wanted growing up instead of what he actually needed. There were moments when I tried being tough on him, and the more I did, the more disconnected I felt.
It sucked.
I felt pressure to prepare him for the real world, but everything I was doing seemed to push us further apart. It was a major wake-up call. Especially because it felt like everyone had advice, but very few people were willing to walk alongside me through it. My intentions were always good, even when the impact wasn't.
That realization sent me down a path of learning, unlearning, healing, and getting curious about the kind of man and father I wanted to be. Sometimes it's fun. Sometimes shit gets weird. Sometimes it's incredibly challenging. It's also been one of the most liberating experiences of my life.
These days, I love playing soccer, spending time in nature, singing in the car, dancing when a good song comes on, and every once in a while getting lost in a video game. More than anything, I love being a dad and continuing to learn alongside my son.
Through all of this, I've realized something simple: we're all doing the best we can with the tools we've been given.
I'm no different.